What Are Feelings?: Revised
by Phagabo241
Summary: Like the first story, but very different. Still between Krillin and 18, though. Rated M from the first chapter all the way through. If-I mean when- you review, make sure to tell me which version of the story you like better! :3
1. The Beginning

**A/N - Here we are once again , at chapter 1. So, here's the deal: I'm rewriting this whole "what are feelings" thing because I was dissatisfied with the previous version. So you, the reader, shall now read the revised edition.**

**This version includes:**

**A new storyline/plot!**

**More references!**

**Adult themes and humor!**

**And more!**

**I own nothing but the story idea itself, all characters belong to their respectful owners, blah blah blah...**

**What Are Feelings?: Revised**

**Chapter 7: The Beginning**

"Ouch! My butt! Stop that!"

"Well then maybe you shouldn't of picked that position!"

"Picked it? I had no choice!"

"If you would kindly move your genitalia out of my face, that would be great."

The Kame Island inhabitants were having a not-so-friendly game of Twister, where Krillin had twisted around and his pelvic bone began to turn numb. Master Roshi was head over heels; literally. And Oolong was tightly squished together in a neat little spot by the others behinds.

"Why don't we just call it quits?" suggested Krillin. "I might end up in a hospital the way my waist hurts."

"Yeah, well, while you back out, I'm gonna-" Oolong spun the spinner. A look of despair grew on his face.

"-show this. Man who's. Boss..." According to the game, and to the available spaces, Oolong would have to have a hand that could extend two feet behind him.

"Okay. I give up." Just to make sure the old man doesn't get the idea he willingly gave up, Oolong crushed him with his tremendous pig flab.

The old master let out a hoot of pain...odd. A _hoot _of pain? This brought back memories to Krillin. _Lecherous _memories. To be specific, memories of watching pornography with his master. That night, he learned many things about human anatomy, such as that part in front is called a clitoris, and how it's located at the front junction of the labia minora in the vulva.

It might prove handy in the future.

Of course, being the newfound pervert he is, Krillin started to have a series of fantasies involving some blond lady. I mean, involving Android 18.

He got embarrassed and used his only technique to avoid detection.

_'I know you can read my mind guys, so cut it out.'_

Works every time.

Master Roshi realized something was wrong with his former student. He was having that look again. Yes, _that _look, where he bites his lower lip like a woman. And stares dreamily into empty space. Probably the most feminine man to ever walk the Earth.

"Boy, you need to stop dreamin' 'bout that girl 'a yours. Uh, what's her name."

"Maron?" said Oolong.

"No no, not that one. The futuristic cyborg one with the boobs." A broken grin spread across Roshi's features.

"Ohhh, you mean _that _one."

"Yes, _that _one." Krillij had enough of this tomfoolery.

"How hard is it to say his name?" asked the former monk. *facepalm* Wait. Something was wrong with that sentence.

"Did you just say 'him'?" asked Oolong.

"No, I said her."

"But your dialogue said him."

"But that's because it's a human mistake, and the author brought it up because of how frequently it happens to him."

Yeah, right, me? Being misunderstood? Please. 8B

* * *

Suddenly, a knock on the door.

"I'll get it!" shouted Krillin. He's been getting the door all the time in hopes of finding 18. Even when no one knocks.

As he slid open the door, he found something horrific. A guy laced with muscle and a face reminiscent of an angel. Apparently a Saiyan-Human hybrid.

"Who are you?"

"I'm [PYRO], an Original Character, made by the author."

"...GTFO."

Krillin proceeded to slam the door in [PYRO]'s face, instantaneously knocking him out. He died later that day due to massive amounts of blood loss.

"Boy, did you really just kill an OC? Because he's dead now." Oolong has to say something sarcastic in this.

"Oh, yeah, 'cause I thought he was alive after Krillin had killed him." Ah, there it is! The stare of death! Because everyone knows that rule about old men in anime.

* * *

**Anime Rule #2**

**Never provoke the old man, or oblivion is sure to follow.**

* * *

"You couldn't of said that before I provoked the old man?" Suddenly, b-slap.

Krillin saw the extensive damage done to the wall, and quickly put the responsibility on Roshi. "You're fixing that."

Uh oh. He looks provoked. He looks a lot tougher on the outside, too. And now, it would seem we will all die. Tell my family I don't like them, and how my friends are cooler than your friends. Peace.

* * *

18 was sitting on the floor. Doing nothing. In her brother's house. Yeah, his name is 17. But, more importantly, let me explain her past. Starting from when she left _The Lookout_.

First and foremost, she wondered what it would be like to be a witch, and started brewing and messing around with hazardous materials in amounts normally lethal to humans. Being a witch wasn't all it cracked up to be, because she had become both asthmatic and anemic soon afterwards.

That's right, just when you thought you had it tough because you got that C- in history, someone else gets sick as a dog. Well, dogs aren't sick, they appear to be very fit, but it's just a saying so what do I care.

Even though that witch idea wasn't a big hit, there were other options. For example, she could try to find her own place to stay.

Like that was going to happen.

Hmm, what else. Oh! She could be a loli! But she does not have the right childlike features. But she could totally pass for a loli. Right? I think so.

She blew through so many other options, like sight-seeing, flower-viewing, bird-watching, plane-looking, and Superman-shouting.

Finally, at the end of her list, was "Move in with Krillin."

She wasn't exactly sure why she wrote it at the time, but she wrote it, so it must be important somehow.

_'Where was it again? I forgot to make a marker for it in my GPS tracking system...'_

Don't worry about it. You'll find it because it's part of the plot. Not sure how long it'll take though...

**End of Chapter 1**

**A/N - I apologize for having such a short first chapter, but I actually put time into it, no matter how rushed it looks. So, if you read my other stories, you'll know what to do, review. That last part was for the guys who didn't read my other stories.**

**By the way, I'm gonna keep the other story of this up for people who want a comparison.**


	2. The Plan

**A/N - Chapter 2 has arrived! I'm gonna say it's late so I can be like the other fanfiction writers. Anyway, mature references are made in this chapter. Kinda like the last one. And the next one will have more. I think you know the process. Don't forget to review when you're finished reading the chapter! 'Cause if you don't, Flandre Scarlet will kill you. By accident.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the story but the story idea itself. Just barely, because I also use a lot of references that meme guys come up with.**

**What Are Feelings?: Revised**

**Chapter 2: The Plan**

_'If I remember correctly with my human memory, Kame Island should be in an Antarctic region of this world, presumably the center.'_

Something is wrong there, 18.

_'It should be made of ice, presumably in the shape of an igloo.'_

Hold up. Since I don't want to go through the trouble of describing your misadventures, I'm gonna tell you where it is.

"Really? But you'd be interfering with the storyline."

So?

"Isn't there, like, a rule against that?"

I dunno. I think not.

Anyway, it's actually somewhere. On an ocean. A tropical island, not an icy one. I think maybe by Japan. Actually, I don't know exactly where. Hey, maybe you could ask Maron! She's been there before!

"And where is she located? In terms of latitude and longitude."

I dunno.

Afterwards, 18 decided to look for Roshi's place in an ocean by Japan. The narrator was reduced to only being able to describe what happens in the tale, although he still holds the power of being able to change the storyline to fit his whims.

Now, an average person would think that this would take longer than naming all of the digits in pi. However, the ordinary human would fail to recognize that she can fly faster than you could possibly comprehend, and has cool robotic sensory systems implanted in her body. Like highly sensitive optic sensors.

Within the hour this was told, she had located an island just large enough to fit a house, with the said house bearing the words "Kame House". So this must be the place.

Slowly floating down to the shore, with the camera at just the right angle to make her seem like a badass, it took approximately a minute or two to descend to the ground.

Now what was she supposed to do. Knock? Or just blow down the door and demand residency, or at the very least, temporary housing?

She thought it'd be best if she just knocked like a normal person would do.

* * *

"I'll get it!" shouted Krillin.

"It's not like we were gonna get up, anyway." said Oolong. "By the way, who knocked?"

"No one, I'm just getting the door in hopes she'll be there." Krillin swung the door open, and the last thing he was a fist. He fell flat on the ground, out cold.

"Oops." said 18. "I was only trying to knock." Master Roshi's beard stood on end.

"Aaahhh! It's the robot woman! We're all gonna die!" He hopped over and behind the couch faster than you could read, memorize, and spell . It's a factitious word. Man made. Look it up. Dumbass. (If the 45 letter word doesn't show up, don't blame me. It's _their _fault!)

Continuing. 18 went along with it like nothing happened. But she did make note of how small he looks while sleeping. Or out cold. Or just unconscious. Possibly dead. Maybe in a coma.

"So can I stay here a while or what." Notice there was no question mark.

"Umm...", started Roshi, regaining his confident, lewd attitude upon seeing her chest, "There's a vacant room upstairs that just happens to be there."

Without another word, the blonde person glided on upstairs.

"Isn't Krillin the only one who's up there?" asked Oolong.

"The boy does live up there, but there's more than just one room."

"Really?"

"You never noticed?"

"Nope."

The pig monster looked down on the floor, and saw Krillin.

"What are we going to do about him?" Roshi thought about it a moment, and dragged Krillin onto the couch. Or was it a futon. I don't know, it was just really hard to tell.

"If he dies, he never existed."

"I agree."

* * *

18 spent hours trying to figure out what to put in this room. It had a bed. Or a futon, or a couch, I really don't know, and lights. But that's about it. There was a cabinet, too, but she didn't have anything to fill it with, excluding clothes she was carrying with her. She could go shopping, but she had no money. Truly one of the worse dilemmas one can face.

Kind of like deciding which end of a chocolate cornet is the head. The thin end, or the thick end?

And during one of those hours, Krillin had awakened, and the first thing he saw, were a pair of eyes staring into his soul. _Roshi._

Slowly but surely, the formerly bald man sat up.

"Oh man, you guys won't believe what just happened in my dream. I opened the door, and 18 was there!" Oolong gave him a reality check.

"Oh, we believe it. Mostly 'cause it really happened."

"You mean she really did throw me onto the couch and proceeded to-"

"-Actually, she knocked you out."

"...Oh...Well, is she still here?"

"She lives here now."

Now then, Krillin wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and had no idea how that happened. All he knew for sure is that he would die in his sleep. Not because of 18, but because of a doll named Mary.

"Can I see her?"

"If you want to die."

Krillin ran up the stairs like a rampaging elephant, and was about to knock when...

"I know you're-" She was cut off by a sharp punch.

"-AAAHHHH! I think I broke my hand!"

"Good job, bozo." came 18's reply.

* * *

After Krillin was sure his hand was in fact not broken, he ran to his room, and locked the door with all nine locks. Then slid open a panel in the wall revealing a keyboard type thing, and typed in a secret code. When the sequence was finished, a large metallic door shut its two halves together, with two more doors sliding down from the top and sliding up to the roof.

He proceeded to say something into a headset and a laser security system appeared, and slowly became invisible.

_'Now that that's taken care of...'_

He opened his closet, filled with clothes as one might expect. However, behind the clothes was another, top secret, closet.

_'Old Roshi's thought of everything...'_

Typing in a super secret code, the walls separated and revealed a pervert set installed by, you guessed it, Vegeta. Nah, I'm joking, it was Roshi.

Inside, he found binoculars, a camera with resolution so high a mere human's eyes would melt out of their eye sockets, an urban camouflage outfit, and a Cloak of Invisibility.

_'Perfect.'_

You're probably wondering, _'Hey, what's Krillin need all that stuff for?'_. The answer, children, would be to spy on 18. Why else? But knowing is half the battle. Krillin, however, had to find the opportune time to use this stuff.

Maybe when 18 uses the shower? A good time. When she's in her room alone? Perhaps.

But he needs to assemble a team to successfully pull this off.

"Hey! Master Roshi! Oolong! Assemble so I can spy on 18!"

"Hold your horses, young'n, I'll be there in a moment. This body ain't what it used to be."

"I'M ON MY WAY!" shouted Oolong.

18 thought she had heard someone say something about spies, but everyone knows people don't perform espionage nowadays. Right?

**End of Chapter 1**

**A'N - Just saying, but if you spot spelling/grammatical mistakes, tell me. In a review. Do it now. And in case you didn't know, Krillin is a pervert similar to the Roshi, just that it's only with 18. And if you didn't notice, this chapter is longer than the previous.**

**Equation: MC = MW (More Chapters = More words) ~125 - 175 words more each chapter.**


	3. Time for Action

**A/N - I have successfully organized my life, and can now write (type) the third chapter! I got too caught up in Dungeon Fighters, so, uh, sorry for the wait. But did you hear! It's on the XBLA now!**

**Meanwhile, Krillin gets his plan into action. He may or may not suck seed (succeed).**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story idea itself. Alright?**

**What Are Feelings?: Revised**

**Chapter 3: Time for Action**

"You're all probably wondering why I've gathered you here today." said Krillin.

"Actually, no." said Oolong, "You shouted down the hallway moments before that we're here to spy on 18." Way to state the obvious.

"Okay, okay, but the real reason was to set up the perfect scenario for maximum satisfaction." The former monk scanned the room.

"You! Old man!"

"Not now, boy. I'm thinking."

"Of?"

"A scenario."

"For?"

"18. The plan." Krillin has found a star player. The best choice would be to consult the original, he now learned

"Good, let's keep it going. What's she doing?" Krillin jogged in place, all pumped up.

"Undressing."

"Next? What does she do after! Improvise, old man!" This is getting quite interesting, if I do say so myself. You can tell Krillin is really engrossed with this topic, by how drool is flying all over the place.

"She...She's making a porno tape!" Roshi yells shamelessly. The room immediately became dead silent. And to think how well this was going until he had to throw that in.

Krillin slapped his forehead.

"Master Roshi...why would she be making...a porno tape?" he said with glum eyes, almost as if he was talking to the lowest human who ever existed. And we all know that's not true. *Cough* Mr. Satan *cough*

Oolong jumped in. "Oh, c'mon Krillin. Can't a man dream?" he said, as expected, very dreamily. "You can't tell me you haven't imagined 18 doing things she would probably never do."

As much as the bald guy didn't want to admit it, it was true. Like when he was knocked out when 18 was about to knock on the door.

And that time he tried to imagine 18 nude, only for him to have another, more frightening image as a follow-up: The technically not an android woman to bust through the wall, and yell something like "Hah! I've got you now!"...or something. Along those lines.

"Well, while were on the topic, Oolong, do you have any plans to aid us in our quest for maximum satisfaction?"

The pig put his hand to his chin.

"Stop saying 'maximum satisfaction'. It's starting to get weird."

"Just answer the question."

"Uh...no. Can I pass?" This is the perfect opportunity to convert him into a servant.

"In that case, you will be my butler." Oolong replied nonchalantly. For the most part.

"Yeah, sure...wait, WHAT?" It took him a few seconds to fully get a grip on things. Wow, 'get a grip'...who even says that anymore?

"I thought we were friends, right, buddy?" he begged with pleading eyes.

"Yeah, well, you can be my friend when you're not being my servant. Which, as you may have guessed, will be never." Straight out of the blue, the turtle sage had to butt in,

"You're acting a bit out of character, aren't you, boy?"

"SSSHHHHHH! We'll get penalized if the Referee of Self Awareness catches us talking about this stuff!" Krillin half-whispered, half-yelled.

"Besides,", he continued, "I was only gonna make you serve tea for us because of how befitting it is for your name."

"Hmmm...I suppose that is true."

* * *

Anyway, minutes turned to hours as they continued on about useless, trivial things, just to start a conversation. A particularly long one, lasting an hour and a half, was to discuss the possibility of time travel, and how Einstein's theory of relativity would not be a major obstacle considering new discoveries of particles that could move faster than light itself.

In the end, however, the trio discovered there were discrepancies and inconsistencies and what-not with the data collected by the scientists that proposed the theory, proving Einstein's theory true.

"Now onto the Big Bang: what existed before it, how it would be possible and impossible, and what events were going on during the Big Bang."

Krillin snapped out of his genius daze when, one: he noticed papers with many precise calculations scattered all over the room, and two: they've gone completely off topic.

Did I mention the fact Oolong (tea) had heard the sound of a shower running?

* * *

"Guys..." he eerily began. "Do you hear that?" The three listened intently.

_Not sure what sound a shower makes. Uh, shhhhhh. Not good. Putter, putter, pat, pat. No, that's even worse...*shower noise*._

Scratching the back of their heads, they sat there dumbfounded. Who was using their shower? They truly were all knuckleheads.

"The only other one in this house is 18, but why would she be using the shower?" asked Krillin.

"And to think she didn't even ask!" exclaimed Roshi. "What a freeloader!"

The pig youkai thing was getting very tense. There was something he was supposed to do, and he knew he had to do it quickly...it's just that he can't remember.

_'C'mon, think. I was supposed to...supposed to...hah!' _He jumped up and down.

"Guys! 18's taking a shower, and we're just sitting here?"

"Yeah." Wait for it...

"...oh, right!" They ran as fast as their legs could carry them through the house and out the front door. While running at a slow speed, Krillin had brought up the convenience of having a window located in the washroom.

Roshi, Krillin, and Oolong knelt down at almost the same time, avoiding possible detection if 18 were to look out the window. Luckily for them, she wasn't one to use hot water much (it really didn't make a difference to her) so there was no mist surrounding her to fog their view.

Instantaneously, their jaws dropped to the ground, and blood spewed everywhere, excluding poor, nose-less Krillin, who had to blush so furiously one wouldn't be able to make out his features from behind the red.

"W-w-woah!" Oolong whispered-yelled. Blood was still flowing as he cupped his small hands around his tremendous hog nose.

"Look at what you did, guys!" Krillin said, wiping blood off of the window. He was alarmed at first, afraid the _splat _sound would alert her of their presence. He had quickly become annoyed, however, upon learning the blood had blocked his view.

"Sh-she looks l-like that?" Master Roshi managed to spit out. It seemed like he was about to pass out from blood loss.

Sure, he had pornographic magazines and videos, but he had never seen the real thing, up close, and washing herself!

The monk had a crazy desire to do something that would send him to hell, but the others were around, so he'd have to freehand this. Alas, it was impossible.

"The breasts..." said Roshi.

"The butt..." carried on Oolong.

"The curves..." finished Krillin. To the group of perverts, this truly was a far better view than the million dollar nightscape.

And all this time, 18 still had no idea she had her own voyeurs. What a shame, I was really looking forward to them getting their asses kicked by her.

* * *

Minutes had passed, and 18 was finally finished showering. And outside were three, half-dead , and lucky viewers.

"Can we call this mission a success?"

"It was so much more than just a success."

"Agreed."

Although Roshi and Oolong were there only for her body, Krillin slowly but surely realized he wanted to start a serious relationship.

Was it infatuation? Possibly. Love? Likely.

During the night, he made a list of possible ways to pick up 18, if you know what I mean. He created a resolve in which he would try out each and every way until, eventually, 18 would realize all of the things he will have done for her, and fall for him.

Krillin clenched his fist in the air. This plan was golden! It was sure to work!

**End of Chapter 3**

**A/N - Sadly, my equation of MC = MW was a complete failure, judging by how this chapter doesn't contain an increase in the number of words stated in the previous chapter. Anyway, read and review!...Is that what R&R stands for?**


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